attente_et_purge
read my profile
sign my guestbook

Visit attente_et_purge's Xanga Site!

Name: naddy the strawberry
Country: United States
State: Oklahoma
Metro: Lawton
Birthday: 3/27/1988
Gender: Female


Interests: guitar, music, writing poetry and novels, reading poetry and novels, being with my friends, talking to my boyfriend steve :)
Expertise: ...writing, guitar, dancing...having an all-around good time and messing my life up and being in love.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Education/Research


Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM: strwbrrywaffulls
MSN: belle_douleur@hotmail.com
ICQ: 302-068-081
Yahoo: mystictigress88
AIM: belledouleur27


Member Since: 4/19/2005

SubscriptionsSites I Read

Blogrings
$MaStUrBaTe NoW!!!$
previous - random - next

!! Street PuNkS UnIte !! Oi Oi Oi Oi OI
previous - random - next

! ! ! .:*For All Poets*:. ! ! !
previous - random - next

Why Yes, I am insane!
previous - random - next

!icOns_that_rOck
previous - random - next

!!!!!!johnny depp lovers come on in!!!!!!!!!!!!
previous - random - next

My icons can karate chop your icons into bits
previous - random - next


Posting Calendar

|<< oldest | newest >>|
view all weblog archives

Get Involved!

Suggest a link

Recommend to friend

Create a site


Saturday, November 05, 2005

its like poison in my veins, flooding into every sinew. i cant take this feeling, it drives me insane. uncontrollable. how do i keep myself in this? how do i trust myself if i cant trust anyone else? who else is there to trust? SHOULD i even trust anyone at all? should it just be me? its like im dying in this bottled up anger and i dont know why im even in it. i should let it all go and stop caring about anything. im drowning in feelings i cant understand or explain. i hate myself. i hate everyone. i hate you. but somehow theres still love in every little miniature hatred. Why do i put up with all this? how could things ever go my way while im in this? my heart feels like someone slashed a thin cut across it and left it to bleed. it hurts so bad. i dont know how i can take this.

 

im making a new xanga. those of you i wish to know what it is, will be informed.

 

 

"Colors"

Can you feel it crush you does it seem to bring the worst in you out
There's no running away from these things that hold you down
Do they complicate you because they make you feel like this
of all the colors that you've shine this is surely not your best

But you should know these colors that you're shining are

[Chorus - x2:]
Surely not the best colors that you shine

I know you feel alone yeah and no one else can figure you out
But don't you ever turn away from the ones that help you down
Well they'd love to save you don't you know they love to see you smile
But these colors that you've shined are surely not your style

[Chorus - x2]

I know you feel alone yeah and no one else can figure you out
But don't you ever turn away from the ones that help you down
Well they'd love to save you don't you know they love to see you smile
But these colors that you've shined are surely not your style

But you should know these colors that you're shining are

[Chorus - x2]

Surley not the best..
(I know your feeling like your lost)
Colors that you shine..
(but you should know these Colors that your shining are)
Surley not the best..
(I know your feeling like your lost you feel you`ve drifted way to far)
Did you know these colors that your shinin are..


Friday, November 04, 2005

 bethany_says.gif anti_paris_hilton.jpg leave_me_comments_x3.gif

 

 

stupidity_prohibited.gif hey guys. *yawn* been kinda busy all fricken week.  you know the deal. homework kinda got piled up over the week esp with me trying to catch up with stuff from last week i missed.

 got my pics developed but you guys will have to wait on them bc i dont have the cd rom yet :( *burp*

 but i DO have pics from halloween (no costumes sowwy and no kids either...unless you count me and barun) here they ish.

 

if you wanna see them bigger just click it

 

 

and my personal favorite

 

stevesotherembarassment.jpg 

 

hes so gonna yell at me for that one

 

the_sword_comes_out_after_you_swall.jpg  anyway yesterday went out to lunch with sharon and mady and today went to waynes after school and i bought madison and me some food  :) was fun.

and_we_were_taught_to_feel_perhaps_.jpg my eisenhower tales ruled.

 

 other than that everything has been pretty uneventful.

 

 later, love you all and steve :)

 

i_like_emo_so_what.gifgoth_chick.gif pretty_psycho_pixies.jpg


Tuesday, November 01, 2005

cuteness.jpg 

 

 k so wednesday at 5:30 i went to church as usual.got there, loaded up the bus, said bye to a few people, took pics of the group and rode about 2 hrs to okc. got off the buss and called eli, who was in the building where all the archdiocese of okc were sposed to meet. they seperated us into 4 groups, a group to a charter bus, and holy family was in group four, team orange. we had pumpkins on our name stickers. loaded stuff on bus 4. eli and corey (the only two people from ft sill :P) were with us and 3 other groups i think.bus captains were faith and tracy. faith was eli, nolan, corey and johns group chaperon and tracy was epiphany church's i think.anyway, jay and andrea were ours :P took a charter bus and drove for about 14-20 hours to atlanta. bus ride was fun. didnt sleep well/much but we played games on the bus, watched "small soldiers", listened to our portable cd players (except eli who brought his psp) lol. took pictures (will be up soon) and had a good ride up. made a few stops here and there for breakfast, lunch, bathroom, etc. wendys, starbucks. a whole lotta good stuff. :D sometimes gas stations too but it was all good. i hung out most of the beginning of the trip with gina, alysa, and brandon and on occasion with eli and corey.

thursday night we got to the hotel, prayed, unloaded the bus, got our room keys, went up to our rooms to drop off our stuff then went downt to the lobby to get our ID things we'd need to get into ncyc hosted places in atl (gwcc and georgia dome) then while everyone else ate pizza (i wasnt hungry) i went up to the room and took a shower. halfway through it gina and alysa pound on the door so i get my robe and open the door for them :P lol. then go back to the shower. when everybody was ready we came back to the lobby and got on the bus and went to the georgia dome and had music, prayer, liturgy, dancing and a lot of cool stuff. mom called in the middle o.o i couldnt hear them :P called them back when i got back to the bus. got back to the hotel at 11:30...curfew was 12....(had to be in our rooms) so we got some food from the lobby and went upstairs and whoever hadnt had a shower before took one. watched laguna beach and gell asleep around 2.

friday woke up at 6, got a call from jay to make sure we were up at 6:30...had to be at the bus by 7:20...the girls had just woken up at 7 bc they wouldnt wake up when i told them to *rolls eyes* went downstairs about 15 mins before they did (i was just on time) and told jay they were running late -.-;; got on the bus finally when gina and alysa made it down to the lobby so we got on the bus and went to the georgia dome ^.^ 2500 kids o.o was awesome. more music more prayer etc. me, alysa, gina and brandon went near the stage to dance around was fun :)

 after morning metting we went to the gwcc and around town, (cnn mall building thingy) adn ate at the cnn mall building thingy and bought souvenirs. bought mom, harmony, and kimberly 3 little cnn teddy bears, bought meghan her 18th bday present: this pretty necklace that just screamed her name :) bought a mini camera with the powerpuff girls on it for barun, bought myself a stewie shirt ^.^ and we ate.

 visited a workshop with eli while the rest of my group looked at exhibits then walked around with eli, j, lauren, and corey a while before meeting my group at the exhibits and walked aroudn with alysa, met a bunch of christian bands and rappers lol. found this one band, cheer up charlie, totally awesome. they had pretty awesome music. so me and alysa had the lead singer and on of their oompa loompas sign our shirts. and i bought their cd :D

 we met jay and everyone eventually and went to the georgia dome for the night praise meeting thing. got back at 10:30 or something and curfew was 12 ^.^ so we pretty much ran a muck. walking all over the hotel. met some cool guys. andrew, steven, and david.  they were on the same floor as eli, corey, nolan, and john so i wandered around their floor and mine and stuff. ran into their rooms quickly just to break rules lol. ran back to my room at 11:50 ^.^ gina took a shower, then me. then we stayed up and talked (twat waffle, twat mufffin *rolls eyes*). told them about the breakfast foods lol. alysa was talking to this guy from ncyc she had met and when i told her what pop tarts were she said "i realllly like pop tarts" lol gina fell asleep then i started falling asleep (this whole time alysa had walked into the bathroom to talk to zack on the phone) and just as i was getting to sleep around 2:30 i hear alysa waking me up asking me what to do about her hair spray which had broken the nozzle and was spraying uncontrollably and fast and wouldnt not stop....me: o.o "call room service"she did. they couldnt help..."wrap it in a towel and stick it in the sink" alysa: "but i wanna do my hair with my hairspray tomorrow! here, you talk to zack and ill do my hair before it runs out!!!" *rolls eyes* talked to her new buddy while she did her hair at 3 in the fucking morning. -.-;; ended up getting back to sleep at about 4 in the morning and woke up at 6 -.-;;

 saturday morning had to pack up our stuff bc we werent coming back to the hotel after leaving.cleaned up late *rolls eyes* got dressed and ready early though. left went to praise thing CHEER UP CHARLIE PLAYED ^.^ they rocked. we moshed. it was all good :D on the way out of gwcc we saw them o.o made them sign EVERYTHING lol. gosh jon and greg (bass and guitar players) were super-uber-majorly hot/sexy lol. they were so cool and awesome :)  took pics with them (as said before, pics come soon) lol.

  hard rock cafe for dinner. was soooooooo gooooood. jay ended up paying for ALL our food. it wasnt much for each person but altogether tahts a lot of money o.o

 went back to the exhibits and stuff but as the girls and brandon were going to that i met up with andrew so we could wait for the dance to start. yes thats right. there was a dance. lol. started at 4:30 and me and andrew went in, danced a bit til his roommates called him and told him they had to leave for whatever reason and since our group was leaving after mass i wasnt gonna see him again so he gave me about 50 hugs lol. as he was leaving i was about to dial eli's number but i saw him walking up so i sat and talked with him, j, and lauren a bit. went back into the dance to get my stuff and came back out...they were gone *rolls eyes* called eli, who didnt answer...so i called jay to ask where they were.he told me where they were so i made my way up to them. went into the dance with gina, kevin, alysa and brandon. had fun :)

went to mass after the dance. alysa got sick in the middle and ran off to the bathrooms, and gina ran after her and came back saying alysa was throwing up and couldnt stop. brandon and i were really worried about her. when she finally came back her voice was so hoarse she could barely speak (her voice was going bit by bit bc of screaming and cheering but it was drastically worse) continued on with mass. after mass andrew called lol wanted to know where we were going (his group was going back to the hotel, they were going back home on a plane the next morning) he wanted to see me getting on the bus :P he didnt get the chance lol. got on the bus and waited for everyone to board. corey tried to sit by me and alysa tried desperately to get me to move to where i was only sitting by eli -.-;;  for brandon, who said he didnt care who sat where, so she ticked me off a little. we just all sat wherever. then for breakfast we went to the waffle house -.-;; eli has a pic of the sign.....

 did homework,listened to cd players, and watched shrek. lol. after a while me and eli got into a serious conversation about everything. just stuff we hadnt gotten the chance to talk about lately with us being so busy. corey started listening in lol. then me and alysa pinned corey's hands down and put his hair in ponytails ^.^ was fun. eli took pics but he wont post them. i asked already lol. eli put his psp and headphones on and i messed around/talked with corey til we got to okc. gave hugs. went to church bus. mcd's. lawton. unpacked. talked to steve. etc lol.

totally awesome trip. :)

 

 overall it was fun. as for monday and today. screw you i dont wanna update for those. took enough of my memory's energy to drag up all this :P so GET OVER IT.

hp_colorfile.jpg j'aime tout le monde, et steve :)

 

ron_colorfile.jpg


Sunday, October 30, 2005

 

 

 

 shit load of stuff to talk about. and im mad at you people. says that at least 6 people visited my site TODAY alone....guess how many comments i had? TWO guess how many people commented? ONE. GO BETHANY. ME LOVES YOU BC YOU ARE NICE AND LISTENED. FUCK THE REST OF YA'LL. lol.

  too much stuff to talk about right now but it was loads of fun. lots of cool music, lots of new people, lots of souvenirs and good food, lots of knick knack trades, lots of dancing and prayer, lots of singing, lots of laughs, lots of walking (-.-;;), lots of pain (sore calves, back and feet), lots of sleeplessness (charter bus was NOT comfortable and alysa talks too much :P), and overall lots of fun.

  and for now thats all you get bc i dont feel like writing about ALL of it right now (only have a certain amount of time left).

 so laters ya losers! love you all DESPITE the fact you didnt comment me much except bethany, and i love steve :)

 

 

BETHANY FRIGGIN ROCKS. the end.


Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Currently Watching
Cherry Falls/Terror Tract
see related

 

 

bleeding_trees.jpg last post til sunday :)

 <--very true ^.^ lol anyway. was uber bitchy the past two days and most of today til 4th hr. passed notes with linda and played around with brandon :) i wrote on the back of his ID ^.^ lol.  sharpies rullllle. didnt get to finish sparticus :( but if they finish it tomorrow i dont get to see it! no fair! oh well dad told me what happens thats more than the history book says so *shrug* woulda been cool to see it though.

 lunch was fun. talked with everyone as usual. sharons like "you cant go...i dont know WHAT im gonna do for the rest of the week" since im the only one thats with her for the first part of lunch. :( talked to eli about the trip some and made plans on how to call and when to call and stuff. so thats all taken care of. OH i had a massive fight with mom and dad last night packing. but i am bringing moms celly *evil cackle* only problem is any roaming calls that are longer than 5 mins and not from mom and dad i have to pay for....and steve is planning on calling.....ill pay for that though, *shrug* shouldnt be too much money to talk for about 20 mins or so. have to keep in mind who all im buying souvenirs for (family) and im buying meghan a present while im out. gonna take piccys.

i_went_to_pick_you_a_flower_but_it_.jpg  madame howard pretty much pissed me off quite a bit in 5th hr today but despite my super bitch mode it rolled right off my back o.o

  6th hr we had a test but i was soooo hyper. really bugged the crap outta brad ^.^ "youre leaving and wont be here tomorrow or the next day?" me: *nod*  brad: "GOOD" lol. but at least joe, sarah, and josh will miss me! lol josh is like "tomorrow im gonna miss you, itll be like youre not here and--" me: "no one to call you gay? *grin*" josh: *glare*"IM NOT GAY" me: "im half gay (bi) so you must be too." Josh: "IM NOT HALF GAY EITHER" me: "no need to be ashamed" josh: *glare*...*shrug*...*hug* "see you monday" lol. fun.

 thats pretty much all for school. came home jumped in the shower. talked to dad (who bought me some disposable cameras with the money corinne gave me) and im gonna eat on the way to church. wearing steves silly grimsby badge bc of the soccer game ^.^

 leave me comments bc I LOVE YOU ALL AND WONT BE ABLE TO SEE THEM TIL MONDAY so leave me something to smile about when i get back. i better have like...20 comments....minimum....THATS RIGHT. im setting a minimum! lol. ill write details when i get back and may have something for you if you do leave me comments ^.^

 much love and many kisses to steve :)

 

 

   



Next 5 >>

Layout by Nicole <3

<bgsound src="http://a423.v13336d.c13336.g.vm.akamaistream.net/7/423/13336/3b858b51/mtvrdstr.download.akamai.com/8512/wmp/0/25943/29574_1_4_05.asf">